Posted: 01/23/2012 | January 23rd, 2012
With the end of my trip coming difficult as well as fast, I’m at a crossroads. As I prepare to move on to the next stage of my life, two roads lie ahead of me, as well as I’m not sure which one to take.
I’ve always had this dream of living in Europe. I’ve traveled Europe a lot, however I want to online in one place, discover the language, as well as experience European life as a local, not a tourist.
I’ve always envisioned myself living in Paris, enjoying cheese and wine, sitting in smoke-filled cafés, as well as strolling down cobblestone streets at night with quite French girls.
But I believe the life I picture in Paris is the one I’ve seen excessively romanticized in movies. The Paris of the silver screen is different from the Paris of daily life.
As I’ve come to that realization, the other city that most appeals to me in Europe is Stockholm.
Paris pulls me with its mystique, however really, Stockholm is a more realistic option. I have many buddies there, the city is one of my preferred in the world, as well as I like as well as want to discover the language.
The believed of living there over the spring as well as summertime truly excites me. Sweden in the summertime is bursting with life as well as energy. After all, they don’t get a great deal of nice weather condition up there, so when they do, the Swedes take full advantage of it.
But the fork in my road is not between Paris as well as Stockholm.
It’s between Stockholm as well as new York City.
Or, as my buddy Jason has told me, it’s a option between a veiled attempt at prolonging my trip as well as coming to terms with lastly settling down.
And, in a way, he’s right.
My spirit burns for the huge Apple. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t believe about it. When people ask me where I phone call home, new York bursts out of my mouth without thinking.
There’s nothing I don’t like about new York City.
Seeing condition updates from my buddies as well as events I’m not able to go to make me homesick for it even more. As I compose this now, I can’t assist however feel unfortunate not being there. I belong there, as well as when all my journeys do end, it’s there I will reside.
But you don’t get do-overs in life. chance knocks once. Doors open as well as close all the time, however when a door closes, it locks itself. As Robert Frost when composed in The road Not Taken:
“Yet understanding exactly how method leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.”
Once you go down a path, there’s no turning back.
If I move to nyc as well as avoid Stockholm, will I ever get one more possibility to online in Europe as a (semi-)young, carefree guy?
Will I end up settling down, discovering a girlfriend, as well as putting down roots as well as then miss my possibility to, just for a bit, be wild as well as carefree in Europe?
Will I regret the missed opportunity? Or will I move to Stockholm as well as dislike it?
Will I long for new York while I’m there? will I withstand putting down some roots since I understand Stockholm wouldn’t be forever? as well as would that ended up being a self-fulfilling prophecy, where it’s not permanently since I withstand making it that way?
As the clock ticks down to zero, I question if I’m truly just trying to prolong my trip. perhaps I just want to be Peter pan forever. When I go out, I see young, carefree backpackers as well as believe to myself, “Can’t I just stay in this world a bit longer? just one more month won’t hurt.”
After all, when my book comes out next year, I’ll have to come back to America anyway. Stockholm would just be temporary. Is costs six months in Sweden just a method for me to spend one more six months living out of my backpack, trying to be Peter pan a bit longer?
I understand I want roots. I want to have a gym. I want buddies to call. I want restaurants where I can ended up being a regular. I want the regional hangout.
But as the end nears, I’m afraid. travel is all I know. It’s part of who I am. I haven’t settled in one location since I started traveling. even when I stop for a while, I always understand I’ll be moving on again. While I’ll never stop traveling, I’m worried I won’t offer well with being settled in one location as well as having roots.
Maybe Stockholm is my “bridge” from traveler to semi-nomadic.
I had really hoped that as I composed this article, I may come to some conclusion. I’ve agonized over this publish for weeks, however as I compose this, I’ve realized I’m just as lost, unsure, as well as confused as ever. composing out my thoughts as well as feelings didn’t assist to choose which road I want to roam down.
As I evaluate both options, I want them both. I desire I might produce a clone!
But I understand exactly how method leads to way; there’s only one road I can take.
As January rolls into February as well as February rolls into my flight home, I’ll have to choose soon which road I want.
For now, I’ll just gaze out at the fork in the road a bit longer, waiting on a sign.
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